Do you have FOMO? FOMO can drive you crazy. Likely you have low self-esteem and “social comparison” anxiety. So, if you want to cure your FOMO, just quitting scrolling on social media isn’t enough.

You wouldn’t be caught up comparing yourself (and always falling short), and maybe then buying things to try to make yourself “better,” if you felt you were good enough in the first place.

That’s a painful place to be. You might think: If I’d only stop scrolling, I wouldn’t have to feel so bad, less than, and left out all the time. But “curing” FOMO is more complicated than that.

Why FOMO Is Social-Comparison Anxiety

Maybe you’ve always felt “less than.” But now there’s the constant allure of Instagram and FB and endless other places on social media to scroll. And, you compare yourself. You can’t get out of the loop of seeing other people who seem to have more than what you have. It feels awful.

Whether it’s money, looks, social skills, sex appeal, more “likes,” or a following, you find yourself scrambling for ways to feel like you measure up. Maybe you spend too much money trying.

But even if you don’t, you’re tortured by why “they” have what you don’t have and how to get it.

What’s the real problem, though? You see yourself through the lens of “not good enough.” If you felt good enough for who you are, you wouldn’t feel you had to be “more like them.”

Never Feeling Good Enough

Never feeling good enough hurts and makes you anxious. I’m sure that feeling began long ago.

Maybe you were criticized as a child. Or you suffered abuse or neglect. Maybe you weren’t ever told things about you that were good and wonderful. Perhaps your parents compared you with an older sibling and, so, you did too. You never felt good enough to make anyone love you.

So, you grew up with a critical, harsh voice in your head. A voice that berates you for any mistake and makes you feel you have to be perfect. A voice that constantly “grades” and compares you.

Even if you’ve accomplished a lot, it is never enough. No matter what you do or how hard you try. You feel there’s always someone better than you. You are very stressed out trying to be perfect.

Perfectionism comes from feeling inadequate. And feeling inadequate gives you FOMO stress.

To cure FOMO, it’s important to understand its roots.

Feeling Inadequate & FOMO Stress

No one is perfect even those people you imagine are. But you don’t know any other way to feel you are enough. You have FOMO (fear of missing out) if you aren’t invited to this event or that.

Or, if you don’t have what others have, you feel left out, unwanted, unloved, and not good enough.

And, then, there are those people on social media. Influencers or the like. People whose platforms have gone viral. Those who have thousands of followers. They “must be better than you.”

But, are they?  No.

The number of followers or “likes” or looks or how people appear doesn’t make them “better.”

You suffer because you’ve felt you’ve missed the boat for a long time. And, that boat is not “being as good” as you think you need to be. And, the bigger problem is: that good is never enough.

Good is never enough because you don’t see how good you are. If no one ever told you or you have a critical, mean voice in your head that tears you down, you don’t see “you” clearly at all.

You probably think I’m wrong. You know “you.” I’d say that that’s the critical voice talking. Most often, when you’re convinced that you’re inadequate or “behind,” that voice seems like a reality.

You have FOMO anxiety not because of now, but because of what you missed out on long ago.

What Did You (Really) Miss Out On?

You missed out on the things you needed as a child to build up your sense of a good self. The things that give you self-esteem and counteract feelings of inadequacy or not being “good enough.”

That means: being loved for all of you, all of your feelings: sadness, anger, fear. Having your mistakes treated kindly and your differences embraced and valued. It means being seen and heard.

You need that kind of support to develop self-esteem. If you felt alone and unwanted as a child or that you were always doing something “wrong,” it’s impossible to feel good about yourself.

So, you’ve been burdened by self-comparison anxiety, leading to FOMO, for far too long.

And, now you want to cure FOMO stress.

How to Survive & Cure FOMO Stress

You can’t cure FOMO stress by just quitting your social media scrolling. That won’t heal your sense of inadequacy or your constant social comparison anxiety. Nor will it build your self-esteem.

You might be able to avoid these terrible feelings for a little while.

Not scrolling won’t put your anxious self-comparisons right in front of your eyes constantly, but you still suffer from the pain of not feeling good enough and that is what needs to be healed.

Healing FOMO stress means increasing your belief that you are good enough.

How do you do that? Here are some things to try:

1.     Think about the things you have accomplished.

2.     Make a list of all the good things about yourself.

3.     Have friends tell you what they like about you.

4.     Remind yourself you don’t need to be perfect.

5.     Remember that how someone looks isn’t who they are.

6.     Likes on social media don’t equal how good you are.

7.     Stand up to that critical voice in your head. It is wrong.

If these things aren’t enough, and they may not be if you are suffering a lot and want to cure FOMO, reach out to a therapist and talk it out. Building your self-esteem doesn’t need to be done alone.